Cindy Goes Home

I live with Cindy Fox, anyone who know me knows her, she's on my link page to know about us check out youtube.com, or our sites. Anyway she's into belly dancing all the sudden over the last 6 months or so and she went to a belly dance festival over the weekend. She mentions that she got there, about 45 minutes from Secaucus and just stood there thinking, oh yeah, this is me. No family associations, no schedule, no familiarity, just her out in the middle of nowhere she 'knows' and just free and what a sigh of freakin' relief. No one clawing at her and no sense of 'I got ten minutes till, this, and twenty to get here, and there,' and all that shit. As she relayed the story and feeling to me she asks, 'you know what I mean?' Then she quickly say's, 'no, of course you don't.' That's right, rarely do I experience that. At least not as a shock. I feel it all the time. I live in it entirely. I got that liberation years ago. It's called the first chapter in the story of Abraham. Abraham is the first key figure in the three most known and followed religions of the entire world, Christianity, Islam, Judaism. Abraham is called by 'God' to leave his homeland and get the hell out essentially. Snakes, by literalists, are considered a symbol of evil, yet they get further along the path of enlightened conciousness than most men who never overcome their sense of family burden and resented responsibility the day they are born and leave their eggs. Once a man leave his homeland he finds a place in the world for himself. This is his center. It's where he finds his liberation, his true self divorced from the chains of Sangsara. Ram Dass speaks of how through meditation and years of searching and living with 'gurus' he found his 'heart cave' where he hangs out with Christ, Buddah, Maharaji, and the like. He's would recount how he is always reciting his mantras and just playfully participating in the 'things of the world' so to speak. The majority of humanity is in the world and rigidly to their associations that seem as real and as inescapable as iron chains (not just people but ideas such as political associations, religions, geneology, etc). Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating dessertion of your family, only the illusion that it's not a 'choice' to be there, not an unavoidable obligation. I see myself simply in the world. I'm as free to live here in the home I'm in writing this, or in the South of France where I've never been. I left home years ago, still love them, still do whatever I can to serve them, yet don't bitch and complain about them all day as if I'm unable to leave or live my life to the fullest without any regard for their or anyone elses opinion. Only a free man can give of himself truly. Only a free heart that is personally satisfied and fulfilled has anything real to give. When you're attached and fighting for a moment to yourself that you only get every several months, you are merely indulging your own need to be needed by needy people and perpetrating the continutation of the process of unfulfilled existence. What Emerson calls Self Reliance is what Christ calls Kingdom of Heaven is what the in the East the refer to as Enlightenment, is what Frederich Neitzsche calls Overman. Every moment of my life is just freedom extended. My Naked Cowboy Dialogue is a map just to keep me from wandering out in the desert and losing all order and coherence. I'm merely playing out a chosen existence, without attachment.